Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
