yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
