I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
