he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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