I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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