my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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