I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You are the jesus of drinking
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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