I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
