When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
