Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
