Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
