May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
