Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
