The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
