they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
