got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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