Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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