Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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