That's when you crack a 10am beer
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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