If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I CAN MOONWALK!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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