Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
your room smells of hookers.
And success
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
