I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
