Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
