Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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