Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
