Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
