East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
