This dress was meant to end up on your floor
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
