He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You were trust falling into bushes
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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