marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize