he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
