He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize