Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
