So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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