maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
birth control should be required to get into college
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
