You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
