I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you had me at cake vodka
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
