No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize