you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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