Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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