So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
