she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
