HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
