Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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