If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
