My brain says no but my pants say off.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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