i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Randomize
