pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
