O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? šš
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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