I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
