I am spending my child support on dildos
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
