fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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