Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
