he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woke up backwards on a recliner
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
