direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize