what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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