why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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