Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
